Levels

3.19.08

Dear Husband,

Spring is almost here, are you excited?? I am. I hope you are not one of those men that put on shorts and sandals upon the first sight of a robin, but that is another story entirely.

And being that drinking is often connected with warm weather, I thought that now would be a good time to introduce you to my Levels of Hangover.

On a scale of 1-5 where 1 is the lowest and 5 is the highest, the following should be carefully noted.

Level 1: Okay. Minimal side effects. Should I take a shower today? Something is just not right, but able to perform all normal daily functions. Ideal hangover for a workday. Cure: Normal black coffee, lots of water.

Level 2: Tummy is not happy initially. Did I drunk-text anyone? Waking up is hard, but typically able to rise around 7-8am. Also good hangover for a workday, but not recommended. Cure: Starbucks Latte, water.

Level 3: Not good. Why was there so much drinking? Tummy is unhappy, accompanied by puffy eyes and puffy face. Possible vomiting. Reserve said hangover for weekends only if possible. Cure: Starbucks Latte, Selzter water, some sort of big unhealthy meal around 1pm.

Level 4: Bad. Vomiting for sure. Bartender, I thought that was juice I was drinking! Not getting up for most of the morning. Talking is unacceptable. Blinds are drawn. Cure: Emergency Diet Coke, dry toast, sleep, real food around 4pm.

Level 5: Stupid. Vomiting ad nauseum. Zzzzzzzzzz. Cure: Not drinking ever again. ever.

Don't say I didn't warn you Husband.
xoxo
me