Wednesday, October 31, 2007

T&A Airlines


Dear Husband,

Happy Halloween! Did you dress up this weekend? While participating in all things ghoulish and intoxicated, I hope you did not hit on the following:

* Naughy Nurses
* Ill-Mannered Maidens
* Little "Ho" Peeps
* All of the Above

However, if your devious friends made you drink copious amounts of alcohol, I'll forgive you. You are a free man (not for long) afterall, so who am I to judge?

That being said, I'm going through one of the dryest dating droughts in quite some time. And while I am not going to nag you and say I need you to show up soon (again), I've decided that tonight is as good as any to strut my stuff.

Husband, I'm going to be blunt here.

I'm in need of some long-awaited disrespectful attention, and if that means I have to dress up as a Sexy Flight Captain, let's just say I'm not going to hang my head in shame.

Try not to take it personally.


Thursday, October 25, 2007

Thoughts At Large


Dear Husband,

Do you think anyone likes their job? I mean *really* likes it?

Underneath all the BS about how "it-is-such-a-great opportunity-I'm-learning-so-much-and-I-think-all-this-is-going-to-pay-off-despite-being-cranky-and-stressed-85%-of-the-day" you think people are being truthful to themselves? Or do they just go along with the script they're selling everyone else?

I really don't know, which I guess is why I'm asking you.

I wonder if you like your job. I hope so...they say the average person spends more time at work than with their family.

I'm sorry Husband, I know I'm rambling...I just have a lot on my mind. You see, I think I'm going to be great at something, I can feel it - the talent, the time I've put into work, the passion...I just don't think I've found my place. Kind of like I haven't found you. I really wish you were here to hug me and say it's all going to be okay, but for now - I will just have to put my faith in the fact that the Universe will bring both you, and the proper career, to me.

pondering & loving,

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Keep It Simple


Dear Husband,

When we meet, can I just act like I like you right away?

What I'm trying to say is, do I have to act like I don't really like that you like me? And then when you *do* decide that it's okay to like me (because of how fantastically mysterious I'm being), then do I have to wait a certain amount of time to show affection in order for you not to be scared and take your Like back?

Because I just can't do that anymore. The silly acting thing I mean. We spend all this time looking for each other and then when I find you, I'm supposed to pretend that I don't see you?

If I like you (which of course I will Husband) I'd just like to act like I do.

If that's alright with you.




Dear Husband,

You know that show on TLC "Little People, Big World"?

Who watches that?

Let me know,

Monday, October 15, 2007

Weekend Warrior


Dear Husband,

How was your weekend? Mine was good.

While I'd much rather have this conversation with you in person, this little nugget of information will please you to no end.

By weekend day I am a college-football-watching, beer-drinking-Goddess and by night I am a classy-champagne-sipping, stiletto-wearing, clever-conversation-having Lady.

I know Husband, try not to shake your head in disbelief.
Pretty soon you'll be ordering the "Um...waiter - I'd like the Best Wife Award please with a side of Can You Believe I Am Married to This Woman?!?"

How excited are you? And I don't want to overwhelm you, but the aforementioned personalities can be flipped pending actual day activities. For instance, a night game requiring beer consumption or conversely, a sunday brunch involving champagne. Toasting to our love. As Nora Jones serenades. While riding unicorns to our destination so we don't have to worry about drinking and driving.

See how versatile I am? Plans-Schmans. *This* girl flies by the seat of her pants.

(Just as long as I know one week in advance which pants to wear)


Friday, October 12, 2007

Getting To Know You


Dear Husband,

A lot has happened since I last wrote. I accomplished a major athletic achievement and I went on a shopping spree...which some might argue are one in the same, but I beg to differ.

So I've spent this week recovering (in new clothes nonetheless) and drinking. No reason for alarm, but you have to admit that drinking is fun. Let's not be martyrs here Husband.

In regards to the subject of my letter, I went out last night and did not meet you. This has led me to the following (positive) conclusions:

1. You decided to stay home and watch Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy. I couldn't be more proud.
(See past letters explaining the importance of said shows)

2. You don't hang out in dance clubs because you are so good at dancing, you don't want to embarrass the amateurs. Understandable Husband. Completely.

3. You were busy volunteering.

4. You went to bed early because you had to get up for 5 mile run before spending your day working hard. Again, understandable.

In any event, I missed you. Especially amongst the unoriginal-stylisitically-challenged-Button-Down-Shirt Mafia.
Otherwise known as "every-other-guy".

hopefully soon,

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Running On Empty


Dear Husband,

I was jogging yesterday and ran into (literally) someone I used to date. Now while I can't say he broke my heart, I probably did give him more of my time and care than he deserved, and when he decided he couldn't handle it (this way to Baggage Claim) I was admittedly disappointed. Not so much because I enjoyed his company, more so because I enjoyed the idea of him. Am I making sense Husband?

So during said leisurely jog, (which he joined without permission I might add) he was telling me about this and that...basically being a Snotty-Snotty-McDouchebag in regards to his latest athletic achievements. I scowled at him between beads of sweat, but I don't think he noticed.

So anyway, my point is Husband, if we ever see him when we're together happily in love, can you do something fun like punch him in the face?

You're my hero Husband.

love always,

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Lights, Ornaments, Action


Dear Husband,

It's almost the holidays.

Tick-Tock Husband, Tick-Tock.

with bells on,

Monday, October 1, 2007



Seriously. Went to swanky jewelry shop opening last week and am v. sick of your continued absence.

Will you please meet me in time for any future swanky store openings so as to shower me with love and presents and prevent me from showering myself with champagne in corner while other people happily shop and canoodle? Hmph.

Not very happy today, Husband,

Day Drinking

Hi Husband,

How was your weekend? Mine was nice. I went out on a date. Not to make you jealous, Husband, but I do think its important that you understand I am not going to hide in my linen closet reading Bridget Jones' Diary for the 578th time until you magically appear in a life-sized Fedex package.

I had a nice time on my date. We went day-drinking, and again, not to make you upset, but you should consider day-drinking for a first or second date activity when we do finally meet. I am just saying. Could be in your best interest.

Yours, as always, despite any current extra-curricular activities,