The Holiday Dial

Husband:

I am really sorry my notes have been sporadic through the holiday season, but you know how it goes; parties, caroling, salvation army bell ringing, reading to the elderly, volunteer gift wrapping for the Humane Society, baking twelve kinds of sugar cookies. It is a busy time.

I did miss you, Husband. Even more so because I kept getting random holiday dials and texts from former beaus. Surely you've heard of drunk dialing and texting, but holiday dialing and texting, while similar, is ever more sinister because it is motivated by emotion, rather than inebriation. Usually what happens, especially in the case of "confirmed bachelors," is that men who otherwise abhor commitment realize at approximately 4:00 p.m. on Christmas Eve that they have no one to share their life with and feelings of sadness and loneliness ensue for roughly 24 hours. During this time, said men are liable to call any and all currents and formers in an attempt to feel connected to anything with breasts and a pulse.

Luckily, husband, it is the one time of year that no girl is caught vulnerable, because girls are inevitably surrounded by friends, family, pets, nieces, homemade candy and lots of booze.

Still, truth be told there was a gentleman whose repeated holiday dials have left me with a bit of an emotional hangover. Not to fret, I am even more determined to have changed my name and forwarding information to Mr. and Mrs. Husband by this time next year: Holiday dialers beware.

xoxo