Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Casting the Net

Dear Husband,

Last night, I ran into a guy I used to date, and it reminded me of something I've been meaning to talk to you about for a while. I know it upsets you to think that I am dating other boys, especially boys who do lame things like sending cast the net texts, but it happens, and the only way to stop it is for you to sweep me off my feet in a whirlwind of nuptial bliss, and then we'll have a good chuckle over silly kids who do things like cast the net.

In the meantime, I thought you might be curious about casting the net, since its definitely NOT an activity of which you would partake.

What is casting the net, you ask? Well, it is when Boy (I am not discriminating, women just don't do this) sends a universal text message to say, 5 or 6 women in his mobile phone book.

It will probably be a Saturday afternoon, and Boy will text something like, "Hey lady, I am riding my motorcycle past your house. What are you up to later?"

Unfortunately, what happens next is predictable in a sad discovery-channel-nature show sort of way. Once the text is sent, there is a good chance that at least 25% of the women texted will respond, and that a further 25% of that population will even plan to meet Boy out on said Saturday evening, resulting in a final 25% of this second population running into Boy, mathematically 1-2 girls, and Boy will have his Saturday night sleep over (hopefully one or 0.5 of our gazelles will flee from Boy in the nick of time, living to graze another day).

Yes, unfortunately, casting the net leads to a relatively high rate of return. And I am not worried at all telling you about this, Husband, because I know you are staying in this Saturday night and wondering where I am.


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